Screaming feelings of meaningless life,

all reality seemingly dreamed,

endless days filled with Nausea's strife

and nothing at all as it seemed.

Premonitions of death ever present

and of endings to come much too soon,

all springs of hope like a desert

passion's world as devoid as the moon.

Reasons for living escape me,

the terror and fear not to know.

Adrift and alone on this journey,

a speck in any wind that may blow.

There's really no beacon to follow,

for one who is dammed to such fate,

a body, but inside just hollow,

out of time, bid by gods just to wait.

Wait for the lightning to strike you!

Wait for the clouds to drift by!

No matter whatever may seem true

all of life's meaning waits till you die.


You want to know

how I feel about

the plants?

I'll tell you.

I will die in Orchids



First there was a 

   gentle rapping

as love tapped at your door

   then it came in

louder notes


like my heart

the whole house

began to tremble

hammer blows

falling on the door

between us

echoed as thunder


it suddenly stopped

   you cracked your door

just a bit

   to see if I had left

I had

   nice and quiet


   isn't it?


I will write you love poems

till I no longer walk this earth.

If you sense what I've put in them

perhaps you'll know their worth

A thousand lines of sorrow,

many pages wet with tears,

careless words and inept phrases

say what I did not for years.

A lifetime now behind me

with death's coachman at the door,

a story with no meaning

rich in friendship, in love poor.

I talk to you in words like these

never spoken to your face

cryptic lines and faint illusions

never once forgot my place.

I held you as a Goddess

and I put you on a stand

but I never dared to tell you

what I write with shaking hand.

I screamed in script I love you

but my voice was never heard.

I lived a life so carefully

It's yours now in these words.